It’s that time of year when everyone should be in a cheery mood. Christmas is here, snow is on the ground in some places and Santa is getting everything packed for his journey around the world. So I want you to have a few chuckles and laughs with these Christmas jokes and cartoons at “Art’s World – Christmas Comedy Corner”.
On the first Xmas, the first of three Wise Men stepped carefully into the stable but sank his golden slipper into a big pile of manure. ”Jesus Christ!” he yelled. Mary was beside the manger and turned to her husband and said, “Now, Joseph, isn’t that a better name for the kid than Irving?”
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.“In honor of this holy season,” Saint Peter said, “you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.”
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. It represents a candle, he said. You may pass through the pearly gates Saint Peter said. The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, “They’re bells” . Saint Peter said you may pass through the pearly gates. The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women’s panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, “And just what do those symbolize?” The man replied, “They’re Carols”.
In a small town in the deep south there was a nativity scene done with great skill and talent. A guy from New York was bothered by one thing, the three wise men were wearing firemen’s helmets.
Totally unable to understand why they were done up like that the New Yorker stopped at a “Quik Stop” on the edge of town. He asks the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at him, “You darn Yankees never do read the Bible!” The New Yorker assured her he did, but didn’t recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She took out her Bible, scanning through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a particular passage. She shoved the page in the guy’s face and says in her thick southern drawl, “See, it says right here, ‘The three wise men came from afar.”
It’s a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, “Hey, mamacita, let’s do Weeweechu.” “Oh no, not now, let’s look at the moon!” said Rosita. “Oh, c’mon baby, let’s you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it’s the perfect time,” Pedro begged. “But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon.” replied Rosita. “Please, just once, do Weeweechu with me. “Rosita looked at Pedro and said, “OK, one time, we’ll do Weeweechu.”
Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang…..”Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.”
MERRY CHRISTMAS to everyone from Paul, Tracy, myself and our entire NightMoves staff.
Art Koch, National Features & DVD Editor, NightMoves Magazine and AAN