With all the craziness going on around the world, I thought a few laughs might be in order. Between tornadoes, flooding, senseless killing, political bullshit, homeless people, starvation and so much more it has become a sad and troubled world we live in. So for the next couple of minutes take a break, have a smile, a laugh or a chuckle with these jokes, photos, etc. Make others have a laugh in their day as well and feel free to share this. Thank you.
A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”
“Is this her first child?” asks the Doctor.
“No!” he shouts, “this is her husband!”
Husband and wife are at a reunion party and the wife says, “Looki at that drunk guy.” The husband says, “Who is he?” The wife says, “He proposed to me 10 years ago and I said no.” Her husband says, OMG! He’s still celebrating!”
Bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman:
“Which book has helped you most in your life?”
The woman replied, “My husband’s check book!!”
A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.”You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301 . There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I’m on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell. “Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow? ………“What . . . … .. You’re coming empty handed?”
A prospective husband in a book store:
“Do you have a book called ‘Husband – the Master of the House?’”
Sales girl: “Sir, fiction and comics are on the 1st floor!”