An Irishman, Italian and Redneck were doing construction work on the scaffolding of a tall building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, “Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off this building.”
The Italian opened his lunch box and exclaimed, “Pasta again! If I get pasta one more time, I’m going to jump off the building too”. The Redneck opened his lunch and said, “Damn it … Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time I’m jumping too.”
The next day the Irishman opens his lunch box, see corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Italian opens his lunch box, sees pasta and jumps too. The Redneck opens his lunch, see the bologna and jumps to his death as well.
At the funeral, the Irishman’s wife is weeping and says, “If I’d known how he really felt about corned beef and cabbage I would have never given it to him again!” The Italian man’s wife is also crying and she says, “I thought he loved pasta I would have never made it again if I only knew”.
Everyone turned and stared at the Redneck’s wife and she said, “Don’t look at me … he makes his own lunch”!
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times does he become disoriented?
If people from Poland are called Poles … why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
If love is blind why is lingerie so popular?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
What does cheese say when it gets its picture taken?
What would you get if you crossed pasta with a snake? Spaghetti that wraps itself around a fork!
Which is faster hot or cold? Hot because we all can catch a cold!
Why are rivers rich? Because they have two banks!
If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean one person enjoys it?
Why is something you send by road called a shipment but when you send it by sea it is called cargo?
Why are a “wise man” and a “wise guy” opposites?
Why is a person who plays piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
What man cannot live inside a house? A snowman!
What starts with a “t”, ends with a “t” and is full of “t”? …. A teapot!
Where did the spaghetti go to dance? … The meat ball!
What did the ocean say to the beach? … Nothing it just waved!
A guy walks into a bar carrying a piece of asphalt. He orders two drinks from the bartender and the bartender says, “There’s only one of you. Why do you want two drinks?” The man replies I’m drinking one and the other is for the road”!