This week’s “Art’s World” is my humorous look at all of us getting older. If any of these sound familiar to you, welcome to the club. Amazing how life changes when we get older, say 60 and beyond. So many things have a different meaning. Here’s 15 examples.

1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
2. To me, “drink responsibly” means don’t spill it.
3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
4. It’s the start of a brand new day, and I’m off like a herd of turtles.
5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
6. When I say, “The other day,” I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 25 years ago.
7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
8. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.
9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn’t fit any of your containers.
10. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say “nothing,” it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
11. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.
12. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don’t know whose side I’m on.
13. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
14. Don’t bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That’ll freak you right out.

Regardless of the age have a great time with this pr4ecious gift called life. We only have it p-art time and never know when it may end, so enjoy each and every day in whatever way you choose. Never worry or think about what others may say or think, it is YOUR life, enjoy it.

Art Koch, National Features & DVD Editor, NightMoves Magazine and AAN