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In Tuesday’s edition of “Art’s World” we brought you Part 1 of the “Top 10 Sexual Fantasies of Women”. We gave you a lot of information taken from research and thoughts from experts on the subject of sexual fantasies. As we said in the first segment, there has been little change in women’s sexual fantasies since the 1970’s when the sexual revolution was hitting a new peak because of more sexual awareness, several books, the growth of porn, the swinging lifestyle and more. We gave the first count down from 10 to 6 in Part 1. Here in Part 2, are the fantasies ranked from #5 down to #1.
5. Threesome with Two Men – Women who dream about this fantasy are often craving some extra attention. “Women enjoy being the sole focus of sex,” says Dr. Van Kirk. “It can help them feel goddess like that two men are fawning over them.” Depending on the orientation of the parties involved, a MFF threesome may be the safer route to go for women, but it also means sharing the spotlight with another lady. Not so when you’re getting it on with two guys. Having a threesome with two men also offers the opportunity to try certain sex acts that you wouldn’t be able to execute in a MFF threesome. For example, double penetration. “Often women who seek double penetration fantasize about the MMF threesome and are excited at the thought of having two males fulfill her wildest desires,” says Corrine. That was my wife’s suggestion, minus the DP, a FMM threesome for our first swinging experience and it went fantastic. It took week to get the grin off her face!
4. Voyeurism – Peeking in on the lives of others is what the internet is made of nowadays. We see what everyone ate for lunch, their new haircut, their latest romantic endeavor and much more. Voyeur fantasies take it a step further, and involve scenarios that give a real life look into strangers’ sexual escapades. “Watching others have sex is a way to live vicariously and mentally by inserting ourselves into the drama,” says Dr. Van Kirk. So, what does fantasizing about watching other people have sex say about the woman who chooses this imagined scenario? “Clients who fantasize about voyeurism describe it as ‘porno in real life’ and often times these clients are most aroused by climax (both for others and themselves),” says Corrine. In the swinging lifestyle voyeurism is quite common as both men and women will watch what others are doing sexually and get turned on by it before they do their own thing.
3. Exhibitionism – The fantasy of showing off your naked body to someone who didn’t ask to see it might sound like a cry for attention. Dr. Jess O’Reilly, Astroglide’s resident sexologist says these feelings go deeper than just wanting to have the attention, “Exhibition fantasies correlate to the desire to feel sexy, garner attention, be admired, feel appreciated and be objectified,” she says. “It’s the desire to indulge in the taboo element of sharing publicly that which has been rendered overwhelmingly private. For some this may facilitate the shedding of shameful messages associated with sex.” Dr. Van Kirk agrees, and says fantasies involving public nudity often come from a place of wanting to feel powerful. “Women want to feel empowered and appreciated in their bodies,” she says. “Exhibiting themselves either nude or having sex with their partner may help them feel that.” Sex in public falls under this category, but exhibition fantasies can run the gamut, including flashing scenarios or just being exposed in a very public area. One girl’s naked-in-public nightmare is another woman’s sexy daydream. Keep your eyes open the next time you are in a department store or grocery you might get an eyeful when you least expect it.
2. Sex with a Younger Man – Good news for the young studs into older women: sex with a younger guy ranks high on the list of female fantasies. “In one capacity it can affirm her attractiveness and in another it allows her to have more power in the relationship as she calls the shots,” says Dr. Kat Van Kirk. “Other women like the role of taking a younger man and molding him sexually.” In most cases, men typically have the upper hand in the bedroom, and are expected to lead the way. Sex fantasies with a younger guy make it okay for the woman to lead the charge. Not to mention, youth has its advantages when it comes to actual sex. “Simply put, younger men are able to go longer and stronger,” says Corrine. “Women who fantasize about sex with younger men may desire a partner who has greater stamina, strength and/or agility in bed.” As the folks in our group are all older I can definitely attest to the fact that when it comes to sex, both the women and men prove over and over that age is only a number.
And the #1 fantasy is……………………
1. Lesbian Sex – Women, straight or lesbian, have the advantage of knowing how the female body works, and it’s an edge that Dr. O’Reilly says straight women can’t help but fantasize about. “Lesbian sex is a fantasy among women because lesbians are more skilled and knowledgeable about how to provide pleasure through cunnilingus,” says Dr. O’Reilly. “Many men do not fully understand how the vagina works — the difference between clitoral vs. G-spot stimulation and how all of these sensations work together during intercourse. Lesbians and experienced bisexual women will often be more informed and well-versed in the art of cunnilingus and sex that is different from the traditional heterosexual intercourse.” Corrine says that the focus placed on pleasure without rushing to the end goal is another big factor why this fantasy tops the list. “I believe most women are curious about what it’s like to have someone who really knows the topography of the female body, takes her time and focuses on pleasure versus just ejaculating,” she says. “Some are attracted to the softness of lesbian sex.” It should also be noted that if women do fulfill this fantasy it does not mean, by any stretch, that the husband is no longer needed. It is not a permanent thing but more of a fantasy fulfillment and nothing more. Sex with her male partner still takes precedence. But now there is a very exciting addition that can come into play at the right time.
There you have our two part feature on the Top 10 Sexual Fantasies of Women that covered every age group, background, type and social standing. Much of the commentary is from the experts in this field that are listed here. While the most of these fantasies have not changed since the 70’s, the popularity of several has changed over time. For example, what is now ranked #5 (Threesome with two men) was for a very long time the #1 fantasy, and what is now #1(Lesbian Sex) had barely cracked the top ten years ago. Conversely #6 (Threesome with two women) wasn’t even in the top ten years ago. So some things have changed, and we think for the better.
I hope you enjoyed this feature and found it fun, informative and entertaining. I also hope it can help you and your partner open the door to sexual fantasy. Just remember to “communicate” as that is the only way to find out and to enjoy an even better sex life with your partner.
Art Koch, National Features & DVD Editor, NightMoves Magazine and AAN
Some of the information for this feature came from Reba Corrine sex and wellness, Dr. Kat Van Kirk sex therapist, Men’s Health Magazine, Healthy Place, Dr. Jess O’Reilly sexologist.